I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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