My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
