I am full of burrito and curiosity
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
