you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
