we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
