I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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