I'm really into asian looking animals
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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