VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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