# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
