I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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