yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
