some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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