I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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