she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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