y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
