Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
