I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
