her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
