Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize