I want to stick my p in your. b.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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