There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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