I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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