So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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