think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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