I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
