WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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