ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We are two peas in an std pod
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
