dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
