The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I am available for nakedness
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
