It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
