"it" just moved
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
