i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
PANTIES FOUND
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