They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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