Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
