I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I deserve this hangover.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
