Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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