I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
