she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
