You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
