Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
