My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
