8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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