Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can I color on your dick again?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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