my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
