i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
