His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
