the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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