I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
