I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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