Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
