Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
