Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
