These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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