Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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