Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
