Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
