Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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